Copernicus Turns

Yikes! What was that! Sounded like someone turning over in his grave. Why, I think it was Nicolaus Copernicus, the renowned 16th century astronomer who came up with that outlandish theory that the earth actually revolves around the sun. I don't know what would be upsetting him so much. After all we in our infinite wisdom have finally thrown off his absurd teachings which have befuddled humanity for over 400 years. Now we know the truth; that the sun actually revolves around the earth, just as Pope Paul III tried unsuccessfully to convince Copernicus back then.

George Will in his column in the Washington Post referred to the Gallup Poll that determined that 20% of Americans today believe that the sun revolves around the earth, and that the rest of us idiots still cling to the foolish concept of the earth actually revolving around the sun. What does it take to get through to us? Why anyone can see the sun crossing the sky each day, in an obvious circular revolution around the earth. And since the moon rotates around the earth also, at roughly 250,000 miles from the earth, and the sun is only a bit larger than the moon we can extrapolate that the sun must only be around a million miles away from the earth.

As you can tell by now, I am the proud product of a public education, secularly controlled by all those brilliant bureaucrats in Washington, D.C. who have succeeded in sanitizing our schools from any reference to God, or ( Humanism forbid!) that there should be any discussion of Jesus Christ being the Son of God, and the only hope for the salvation of mankind. We're doing just fine without all that religious stuff. After all, I figured out that the sun revolves around the earth all by myself. What do I need God for; He's just going to tell me not to steal, when I know the only reason not to is whether or not I think I'll get caught. The same for, "Thou shalt not kill"; if someone makes me angry, they better watch out! The next time no ones looking, bam!!! Of course I'll scream, "Bloody murder!" if someone else thinks they have the right to hold me to the same standard. That goes for the husband of the woman I was dallying with last night, too. Where does he come off accusing me of "Adultery", when I just denied it with one of the best lies I made up in a long time. What, does he think we live in a society where our laws should be based upon the Ten Commandments? How impractical would that be. It's so much easier living in our society, where, "Every man did that which seemed right in his own eyes". That's in the Bible, too. I'll give it credit for that much. And it works well too. At least until you run into someone whose concept of what, "seemed right" was in direct conflict with your concept. Then you'd better be carrying a bigger gun than he is!

Ahh! The joys of living in a world where everything revolves around me, including the concept of right, and wrong! Now you can see how I managed to come up with the completely egocentric concept of the sun revolving around the earth. The sun and moon revolve around the earth, and the whole world revolves around me! And I decide what's right and wrong, and if anybody doesn't like it...BAM!!! So who needs God in life, when I've got all the wisdom of a secular public education!